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Bipasha Basu talks about John Abraham

Posted: 08 Sep 2012 10:51 PM PDT


Basu who has had a trying year with her personal travails, returns triumphant with the super opening of Raaz 3

How did you feel when the man you gave nine years of your life to, left you?
I felt abandoned. I was living in a lala land till then. Now sitting today I feel I was so foolish. During those nine years, I retracted from my work, pushed back opportunities, stood like a rock for the man I loved, did not meet people just to give that extra time to make my relationship work and then I realised that the thing I was working so hard for was gone overnight. It took me months to realise that it's over and I am abandoned. I went through a lot of pain. I used to howl, went into isolation, it hurt. But then after some time the mind has to take over.

How did you cope with being treated like a discarded woman?
I would be the biggest liar if I said there was no struggle and that there were no wounds. I never wanted to talk about my wounds at that time because people dig into them deeper when you talk. I am a single girl. I need to be in the business and work peacefully. I can't let the baggage of my private life get into work. Artists are more fragile than normal people. But I know that I am a role model for zillions of people so no matter how deep you are hurting, you need to come out strong.

What does love mean to you?
I am a very traditional type of a girl. I like simple things in life. I didn't fall in love in day one. I was chased. I was wooed. I gave my 100 per cent to my relationship, whether it was my loyalty or respect. I know I made a fabulous girlfriend and would make a fabulous homemaker. I have parents who still deeply love each other. So these are things I value too deeply in life. To me love is not something that can be manipulated.

Has this bitter experience taught you lessons in life?
Nothing can save something that is not meant to be, no matter how hard you try. I want to tell women that you need to love yourself and make yourself a priority. It's only when you are happy yourself, can you make everyone else around you happy. I am still a dreamer and still believe in fairy tales, but there is only that much one should give another person. You need to keep something for yourself. I am to blame for what happened to me. I allowed a lot. Anyone who pulls you down in your life, should not be in your life.

You isolated so many people like Salman for this one relationship? Do you regret it? I isolated myself. It's silly, but I did it out of choice. I was foolish. I guess that kind of love does not exist any more, at least not in our business. But when you are right, everyone comes around. Salman is today a friend.

What has changed for you today?
I walk without make-up and people tell me I glow. I see my pictures then and now. It's as if a dark cloud has lifted above my head. Today I have love and respect for myself. Today, I know I am a fantastic woman. I am so enriched because so much has happened in my life. The way I can express myself is because of the life I have lead. It's only when you experience life can you emote it. All this has made me a better actor.

We now see a new Bipasha who is ready to mingle with men.
From childhood I love and got along with only men. If a man has a crush on me, I am not supposed to be at fault for that. During the nine years, I confined myself and never stepped out. I didn't have a life. I worked, went to a gym and came back to my hotel room. Even if a man loved me, it was never communicated to me. I make friends easily irrespective of the sex. I love people. Today I feel happy, light and free.You have seen me so long in a confined and controlled manner, that you may think I am trying to create an image.

Were there people who helped you get out of it?
Rocky S is my friend and brother. He held me with his hands and made me stand on my feet. It's my friends who helped me. Friendship is the most selfless, beautiful relationship God has made. Bhatt Sahab picked me for 'Raaz 3' when I was in self-doubt and made me feel that it was okay not to be strong.

Would you fall in love again?
Yes, I am not cynical about love. I am still a simple, uncomplicated trusting girl. I would again give my 100 per cent to a relationship if I were to have one. But I also believe that it's okay to be single and as a single woman I can be happy.

Are you vindictive?
Not at all. I believe in respecting people's relationships. I may not have respect for him, but have respect for anyone who is in a relationship.

What has changed for you professionally today?
I was born in Delhi, went to Kolkata, wanted to become a doctor, became a model, travelled around the world, got bored of modelling, became a part of films, made love my priority, had a failed love life, realised the mistake I had made by pushing back the one support system of work that I had. Today I am ready to struggle again.

I definitely did not have this much focus earlier. But today, I do. Right now I want to give it all to my work. I am enjoying it. I am happy with it. There is a fierceness and a tiny bit of regret that I had talent, but kept on pushing myself back for another priority. I have to make up for lost time. I know I have talent, the will and the audience connect. No heroine without the backing of a big hero or camp can last so long. I have to get my due here and I know I will get it.

5 Types of men women hate

Posted: 08 Sep 2012 10:48 PM PDT


There might be ample qualities that make men irresistible. But women being the fairer sex have created certain stereotypes in men that they would never want to be seen with.

We list the most common kinds of men that women love to hate...

Thumbs down to dominant men : Gone are the days when a male dominated society used to be the way of life. So, if the next time you try to show your superiority in front of your girl, it might land you in a tight spot. Women prefer mates who're recognized by their peers for their skills, abilities, and achievements - and not those who use coercive tactics to subordinate their rivals, reveals a new study.

Expert says : Dr. Chirta Bakshi, a relationship counsellor says, "Dominant behaviour is highly opposed by a female partner as she wants to enjoy the bond with equal respect. In any relationship, if one partner tries to have the upper hand in taking all decisions and if they portray their dominant self, it will not do any good to that relationship."

Macho guys aren't always lucky : A macho guy with an angry young man personality might look good on silver screen, but when it comes to real life, women aren't game to hang around with macho dudes. A recent study claims that macho guys don't always get the girls. The study further revealed that the most aggressive guys ended up with fewer wives and children.

Expert says : Personality development expert Varun Chhabra says, "Women today are more keen to pick a guy who flaunts a good body combined with a metro sexual image rather than the typical rough and tough hunk. Men who look tough from the outside and bear a soft heart within are women's favourite."

Keep sex starved men at bay : Men are usually sexually more charged up. But when it comes to choosing a mate, women don't opt for a sexually ravenous partner. This is maybe because for such men, sex is the top priority in the relationship whereas the woman continuously seeks love and romance, sans physical intimacy.

Expert says : Relationship and sex counsellor Dr. Geetu Bhardwaj shares, "It's not that women are not keen to have sex with their partner, but a man's sexual inclination does plan an important role when it comes to choosing their partner. Women generally aren't too comfortable with the idea of being with a man who has sex on his mind throughout the day. In such relationships, things like understanding and love are secondary and sexual intimacy is all that matters for the male partner."

Chauvinism is out completely : Remember Bobby Deol's chauvinistic character in Dostana, which was enough to drive his lady nuts. An excess of anything is bad. Women don't find a chauvinistic man a great companion to spend the rest of their lives with.

Expert says : Dr. Ratan Kumar, a clinical psychologist asserts, "There is a very thin line of demarcation between being a gentleman and chauvinist. A girl might love your care and concern, but your over chauvinistic attitude may irritate her at times. Make an attempt to give enough space to her and let the comfort zone be there as per mutual convenience."

Using slangs won't take you anywhere : Using abusive lingo every time you indulge in a conversation might lend you a cool dude look cool in front of your male peers, but girls don't want to hang around with a abusive man. Being too abusive and stressing on using slangs too often is a 'turn off' for today's women.

Expert says : Psychiatrist Dr. Anupam Randhawa states, "Men need to realise that a woman would like to be associated with a respectful and well-behaved mate. So using excess of slang language and abusive words during conversations can backfire. The reason why women keep such partners at bay is because they find it offensive when their man gets abusive as it comes as a gesture of disrespect to the relationship."
Posted by Sheik Azmol Haque Jony

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