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When he says no to sex

Posted: 13 Aug 2011 01:25 AM PDT


Most women blame themselves when their partner loses interest in sex. They feel that that their man doesn't fancy them anymore. But the real culprit is someone, or something else altogether... The number of times he says 'no' only leads you to think that he's found someone else. But that is often not the case. Usually, there is something going on 'upstairs' that's freezing activities 'downstairs'. Your job is to find out what that something is, and work together to sort it out. If your man denies you sex, it is not uncommon to be left worrying about whether he is having an affair or wants to end the relationship. The truth is that although you may experience these feelings and thoughts, it's unlikely that his loss of desire, or ability to maintain an erection, is caused by a loss of interest in you, your looks or your relationship. Most men suffer from other sexual problems when they are stressed out, tired or under pressure to perform in some way. In fact, the problem is more likely to originate from a demanding boss or a heavy workload, than from you... Tiredness and overindulgence If your partner has been working hard and trying to meet deadlines, the tiredness and worry can cause problems in focusing on lovemaking. Other causes of temporary erection loss can be overindulgence in alcohol, or a heavy meal. When this happens, stimulation during love play will not cause or sustain the act. At this stage, it is crucial to comfort him and avoid making accusations about his loss of interest in you, or imply an affair. This will only increase the pressure on him and make things worse. Sometimes, just resting for sometime will solve the problem. Discussing feelings It is also important to explain your feelings about what has happened and to ask for his help in coping with the emotions you may be experiencing. Explain that you are worried - it may be connected to your relationship and how he feels about you, and encourage him to open up about what's going on with him too. Start by saying something like 'I know this probably sounds silly but... ' continuing with your own concerns about his loss of desire. Encourage him to do the same with you, as he is just as likely to be as concerned as you are, if not more so. In this way, you can act as a team and solve the problem together , rather than both avoiding the issue through fear of probably losing each other. Is he unwell? Loss of interest in sex could be an indicator of illnesses such as diabetes or heart disease. Avoid panicking your partner by telling him he may have a serious illness. Instead, suggest he has a general check-up to make sure that all is well. If the doctor suggests he needs more tests or needs treatment for an illness, it is better to act fast, as many health problems left untreated can be harder to remedy at a later stage. Money worries If you are experiencing problems in your relationship - frequent arguments, problems with children, money worries or other sexual difficulties , bring them out in the open and have a frank discussion. Emotional problems can lead to difficulties in sexual performance because trust or an intimate sense of connection to a partner is compromised. After all, it is hard to feel turned on if, for example, your debt level is worryingly high, or if your child's grades are a cause for concern. Taking action to resolve these issues can prevent erection difficulties where there is no physical cause. Talking to a debt adviser or a couples' counsellor could help you both make sense of the pressures you are under in order to tackle the problem. Once you take the first step to deal with these issues, the chances are that the erection problem will fade away. Your self-esteem Lastly, if you are worried about whether your partner still finds you attractive, try improving your own sense of self-esteem, rather than blaming him. Eat healthily, exercise regularly, do things that you enjoy, and make time to relax. If you feel good about yourself, your intimate life will also feel positive. And you can handle the rest of the problems, be it coping with your partner's sexual inefficiency, illness or stress. Or maybe, you won't have a problem at all.

Mass protests staged across Syria, 10 killed

Posted: 13 Aug 2011 01:23 AM PDT


DAMASCUS: Syrian security forces opened fire on Friday killing at least 10 people as thousands of anti-regime protesters rallied in flashpoint cities after the Ramadan weekly prayers, rights activists said. Today's hail of lead came in defiance of warnings by the United States that Syria will face further sanctions if it does not stop killing protesters. A man was shot dead in a dawn assault on the Damascus suburb of Saqba while a woman died when troops opened fire in the town of Kahn Sheikhun in northwestern Idlib province, the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights said. As thousands poured out of mosques after the noon prayers in the central city of Hama, security forces sprayed them with gunfire, killing a civilian and wounding three others, the Britain-based Observatory said. "Thousands of people marched in Hama despite a higher presence of security forces. We left from the mosque to the Al-Manakh Square and they shot at us. People were wounded and several others were arrested," an activist told AFP. Hama has been the scene of some of the bloodiest clashes since an uprising began mid- March against the authoritarian rule of President Bashar al- Assad. At least 100 people died when troops backed by tanks stormed the city on July 31, the eve of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan. State television streamed images showing Assi Square -- nerve centre of protests in Hama -- as completely empty, saying: "Life is back to normal in Assi Square, there are no armed forces."

Todays future for your life

Posted: 12 Aug 2011 02:54 PM PDT


Dhaka in The Economist view-finder againDhaka in The Economist view-finder again

Posted: 12 Aug 2011 10:19 AM PDT


A week after inviting the government's ire, The Economist has now come up with two more articles on Bangladesh. This time, however, there is no mention of "bags of Indian cash and advice" in either article, appearing in the London-based magazine's Aug 13 edition and also uploaded on its website on Friday. Banyan, a regular column on Asia, focuses on Bangladesh's politics this week with the heading "In the name of the father: An obsession with Bangladesh's past may explain its prime minister's growing intolerance". The other report, under the head "The poisonous politics of Bangladesh" indicates from the outset that it is not going to be laudatory. The Banyan starts with commending the country's state of economy. "The economy, with annual output of around $100 billion, grows by nearly 7 percent a year and is fuelled by the world's third-largest clothes- export industry. Aid money gushes in, and good things are done against poverty." This stability in economy, the write-up points out, is hardly reflected in the state of the country's politics with new corruption cases filed against opposition chief Khaleda Zia, arrest warrants against her elder son Tarique Rahman and indictment of the other son Arafat Rahman Coco. On the other hand, the courts in the country have quashed corruption cases against Awami League figures, the first article says. The relationship between Hasina and Khaleda is termed as one of 'legendary mutual animosity'. With a general election in a few years, the article says that Sheikh Hasina could have tried to embed democracy to become the first person to be re-elected to the office of Bangladesh's prime minister. "Sadly, judging by her recent behaviour, she seems to seek instead to crush the opposition and provoke an election boycott, silencing pesky critics as she goes." Referring to rumours, The Economist article says Nobel Peace laureate Muhammad Yunus was "resented for his high international profile, which threatened to eclipse the sacred memory of Sheikh Hasina's father, Sheikh Mujibur Rahman, who led Bangladesh to independence". According to the article, Yunus's other sins included his accepting the Nobel peace prize that 'Sheikh Hasina felt should have been hers, failing to commiserate after an assassination attempt on her in 2004, and being ungrateful for the help she gave Grameen'. Mentioning a new constitutional requirement declaring Sheikh Mujib the Father of the Nation and ordering all offices in the country to display his portrait, the UK-based magazine says, "Hasina wants her father to be revered". It questions the Awami League government's move to try war crime suspects, saying that the government has made a 'mess' of it. "Even sympathetic outsiders say it has bungled forthcoming war crimes trials of seven men over their alleged role in the war and massacres of 1971," the article reads. THE SHEIKH OF THINGS TO COME The magazine also criticises the recent amendment process. "Most troubling is the hasty rewriting of the constitution on June 30th, especially the scrapping of a provision for caretaker administrations to run elections." The Supreme Court in a verdict on May 10 suggested keeping the provision for two more elections, to avoid provoking social strife. "Sheikh Hasina herself had insisted on the arrangement when in opposition. In office, she heedlessly went ahead and junked it. That bodes ill for fair and peaceful polls in 2013. "Nor do Orwellian touches inspire confidence. The constitution, or at least most of it, shall not be amended in future. Anyone who dares criticise it may be prosecuted for sedition. Mrs Zia has already been warned for having complained about it. Merely to back such a complaint is now illegal. Thought-crime may be next." The article says Sheikh Hasina's dream for Bangladesh "differs profoundly from that cherished by her countrymen". "She hopes to emulate not Indonesia or India today, but the country imagined by her father before his murder in 1975." Though it fails to fulfil a promise to restore his founding constitution's commitment to "secularism", the new version is mostly loyal to his vision, complete with dated pledges to socialism, The Economist says. "By attacking opponents, his daughter settles scores with those who opposed Sheikh Mujib. And, as Orwell knew: who controls the present controls the past. And who controls the past controls the future," the website reads.

5 'muggers' die in Uttara firefight

Posted: 12 Aug 2011 10:17 AM PDT


Five suspected muggers have been killed in a reported gunfight with the Rapid Action Battalion (RAB) in Dhaka. The paramilitary force's legal and media wing director M Sohael on Friday night told that the incident took place around 9pm near Mascot Plaza in Sector 7, Uttara. Two others have been arrested, he said. RAB director general Mokhlesur Rahman also said that two revolvers, two pistols, a pipegun and a machete were recovered from the spot.

Bomb found in Assam train, defused

Posted: 12 Aug 2011 07:52 AM PDT


GUWAHATI: A passenger train carrying about 500 people had a miraculous escape in Assam on Friday when police seized a powerful bomb from one of the coaches. A police spokesperson said the bomb was recovered from one of the coaches of the Kamakhya- Puri Express near the Pancharatna station in western Goalpara district early Friday. The train was bound for Puri in Orissa from Assam's main city of Guwahati. "We had some information that a bomb was being carried in the train and hence we conducted a massive search operation after stopping the train at Pancharatna station and recovered a powerful improvised explosive device concealed in a sack," Goalpara district police chief Luis Aind said. Bomb experts defused the explosive. Police picked up one person suspected to have been carrying the bomb. "Investigations are on to find if the person we picked was actually carrying the bomb or not," the official said. On July 11, at least 70 people were injured, several of them seriously, when four coaches of the Kamakhya-Puri Express were derailed and four others capsized due to a powerful explosion at Dhatkuchi between Rangiya and Goghrapar railway stations in Assam in western Assam. Militants in Assam have stepped up efforts to create terror ahead of Independence Day even as 12 rebel groups have called for a boycott and a 17-hour general strike Aug 15. Militant groups in the northeast have for years boycotted national events to protest New Delhi's rule over the region. Security forces have been put on maximum alert across the region to thwart possible rebel strikes, officials said. The run-up to the events has always been violent, with rebels striking vital installations like crude oil pipelines, trains, roads and rail bridges besides targeting security personnel.

Clinton urges new steps against Syria, another 16 killed

Posted: 12 Aug 2011 07:51 AM PDT


DASMASCUS: US secretary of state Hillary Clinton urged China, Russia and India to step up pressure on Syria's Bashar al- Assad, as his forces killed another 16 civilians in their brutal crackdown on protest. Anti-regime protesters meanwhile were readying to flood the streets of Syria again after the Ramadan Friday prayers, setting the stage for further bloody confrontations. Clinton in an interview with CBS News broadcast on Thursday suggested that China and India impose energy sanctions on Syria while she urged Russia to stop selling arms to Damascus, which has bought arms from Moscow for decades. "What we really need to do to put the pressure on Assad is to sanction the oil and gas industry. And we want to see Europe take more steps in that direction," Clinton said. "And we want China to take steps with us. We want to see India, because India and China have large energy investments inside of Syria. We want to see Russia cease selling arms to the Assad regime," the top US diplomat said. Her comments came as US officials said Washington has decided to call explicitly for President Assad to step down. The White House said President Barack Obama and Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan agreed during a phone call Thursday on the need for a "transition to democracy" in Syria. The Obama administration has been steadily ratcheting up pressure on Assad, who has been deaf to growing international calls to stop a crackdown that human rights groups say has killed more than 2,000 people since mid-March. "The United States is looking to explicitly call for Assad to step down. The timing of that is still in question," according to a US official who did not rule out that the announcement could come next week. "It's part of steps to increase the pressure given the ongoing brutality of the Assad regime," the official told AFP on the condition of anonymity. Ignoring the growing international outrage, Assad pledged this week a relentless battle against "terrorist groups" Damascus says is fomenting a popular uprising across Syria. The Britain-based Syrian Observatory for Human Rights said on its website that a total of 2,150 people have been confirmed dead since the protests began in mid-March, including 1,744 civilians and 406 members of the security forces. State Department spokeswoman Victoria Nuland meanwhile said the US ambassador in Damascus personally warned Syrian Foreign Minister Walid Muallem on Thursday that Syria will face further sanctions if it does not stop killing protesters. Robert Ford, the envoy who returned to Damascus last week after consultations in Washington, also urged Syria's top diplomat to ensure journalists can cover the protests. On top of earlier targeted measures against Assad, regime officials and others, the US on Wednesday imposed sanctions on the state-owned Commercial Bank of Syria and the largest mobile phone operator, Syriatel. Facebook group The Syrian Revolution 2011, one of the drivers of the uprising against Assad's authoritarian rule, urged Syrians to pursue anti-regime rallies throughout the holy Muslim fasting month of Ramadan which started August 1, saying "every day in Ramadan is a Friday." Friday -- the weekly day of rest when key Muslim prayers are held -- has become a focal point of anti-regime protests in Syria, with hundreds of thousands pouring on to the streets each week to demonstrate. On Thursday, Syrian forces killed at least 16 people, with the army storming more towns in pursuit of anti-regime protesters, rights activists said. Most of the deaths occurred after columns of tanks and troops stormed the the town of Qusayr in the central province of Homs, they said. "Twelve people were killed by the end of military operations" in Qusayr, the Syrian Observatory said. Three other people were shot dead by security forces in the eastern oil hub of Deir Ezzor's Al- Matar neighbourhood and several houses were torched, the Britain-based rights group said. Another person was killed in the coastal city of Lattakia where Assad's forces unleashed another wave of arrests. As part of the crackdown, Abdel Karim Rihawi, head of the Syrian League for the Defence of Human Rights since 2004 and a key source of information for international media, was arrested on Thursday, activists said.

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